A lesson I learned from Richard Carlson, PH.D.

Wouldn’t you all agree that most of us would love to have simpler and less stressful relationships with family, friends and business associates?  Wouldn’t life be so much joyful if we could just relax and not take so much to heart? Well, I have learned how we can start.

One of the best books I have ever read is Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff, by Richard Carlson, PH.D. His book has literally changed my way of thinking and has improved my interactions with family, friends as well as professionally. Although there are many valuable and life changing lessons in his books, the one that has played a profound part in every aspect of my life is, “Expect it to Spill.”

Expect it to spill means just what you are thinking. Simply put, when you expect something to happen, you are more prepared to handle what happens and less likely to react.

Here are three examples you may be able to relate to:


You know that family member that always offers negative and critical opinions even when unsolicited, the one who you usually react to by either getting upset or arguing with? Well, thinking about the philosophy of expecting it to spill, I would ask you one simple question, why are you not ready for it? I’m not saying you never call someone out when they say inappropriate things, however, I am saying why let it stress you out or upset you to the point where it ruins your day/evening. If you enter the situation knowing this person will most likely say something “wrong” why are you not ready for it? I have to say; I argue less, cry less and am less easily bothered all as a result of EXPECTING it!


Playing in a tennis match, my doubles partner found herself struggling with our opponent’s cross-court shot. Three points in a row our opponent served to my partner, who, having trouble with the return, was only able to send it back over the net cross court, just to have the opponent hit an even better, sharper shot out wide which my partner could not return. Then the Aha moment, I turned to my partner, who was clearly frustrated, and asked, “If you know what is coming, why not just adjust and expect it?”  It was an ah ha moment for us both.  All of a sudden we were both relaxed and ready for the shot to come and guess what…we won the point and ended up winning the match.


No matter what you do for a living, I believe everyone is in sales. We either have to sell a service, a product, an idea or ourselves. With this come objections. In my particular line of work the biggest objection I receive is the lack of time objection. You know, “I do not have time for that.” During training, one of our top leaders asked us how come it is we are not ready for this objection, especially if we get it from 8 out of 10 people we talk to? Again, the aha moment. Before entering a meeting, a negotiation etc., be ready, expect it to spill and be armed with the correct information to overcome it all!

 Bottom line:

If you can prepare yourself by “Expecting it to Spill” I believe it will result in better relationships both personally and professionally and take away so much unwanted stress. So go ahead and give it a try, then please let me know how it turned out for you. I would love to hear your expect it to spill stories in the comment section below.



Are you looking for extra income? Are you interested in working with others for a common goal? Are you interested in helping others? Are you looking for personal or professional growth?

If you answered yes to any of these questions I would welcome the chance to speak with you. You can reach me at jsilverman@skllc.com Take a chance; you never know what could be right in front of you.

Jodi Silverman is a Mom, Wife, Sister, Daughter, Entrepreneur, Network Marketer & Connector. Jodi loves to meet new people every day, and has a business designed to help people, of all backgrounds, achieve their financial and personal goals. She is a Senior Director with Stream Energy/Ignite,

Picture:Image credit: <a href=’http://www.123rf.com/profile_artjazz’>artjazz / 123RF Stock Photo</a>

2 thoughts on ““EXPECT IT TO SPILL”

  1. When I have quality time, I want to read this.. where did this saying come from.. was it mentioned in one of your Monday meetings.. I remember it from somewhere

  2. This is such great advice. So often it is not “what” happens that is so difficult to navigate but rather the gap between what we “expected” to happen and what actually happened that throws us off track. Being prepared is a great way not to get thrown off track.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s